Jokes about Clever

Two ladies fighting for a seat in a bus... Bus conductor: "The older one should sit here". Both looked at each other and the seat remained empty...

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If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer. "Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

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Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart? A: Through his chest with a sharp knife.

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What is a dog's favourite sport? Formula 1 drooling!

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I woke up suddenly terrified I'm late for work... I opened my eyes and chilled - I'm at work.

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Swedish business'>business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 11 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 175-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 25,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.

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Why did the cat join the Red Cross? Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit!

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When do Chihuahuas smell? When they don't take a bath!

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I am so lonely. The only ex I have is in my chromosome XY...

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Teacher: Jeff, have you been copying Johnny's test again? Jeff: Yes, but how did you know? Teacher: On question #1, Johnny put down "I don't know". And you put down "Me neither".

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A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows should be milked. "Oh, I reckon about the same as short ones!" the farmer answered.

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What does a Chihuahua wear to play basketball? Small basketball shoes!

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Where do Eskimos train their dogs? In the mush room!

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Why did the dog mistake the dog catcher for a grape? He was colour-blind.

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One day, a dog ran out into the street and was killed by a passing car. The woman was in tears that night when her husband came home. His efforts to comfort her were to no avail. Finally, he said, "Darling, stop crying and I'll buy you a new hat." "But," she cried, "if you knew how much I miss him you'd make that a fur coat."

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Q: How are husbands like lawn mowers? A: They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odours, and half the time they don't work.

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What did the tangerine say when it saw the Chihuahua? Nothing. Tangerines can't talk!

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You hear about the two guys who stole a calendar? They each got six months.

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Well, one night a boy and his girlfriend are out on a date and as the boy pull in his girlfriends drive-way to let her out she tells him to come over the next night for dinner and meet her parents. The boy agrees and the girl says to him that after dinner they will make love. Well the boy agrees and as he is on his way home, he thinks to himself ,"This will be my first time sleeping with someone, so before I go over to her house ill stop by the pharmacy and buy some condoms". Well that day went by and they young boy was on his way to the pharmacy, and as he purchased the condoms the pharmacist gives him a mean look, the boy thinks nothing of it and goes on. Well, when the boy is at his girlfriends house, her mother asks him to say the blessing before dinner, well the boy is going on and on about stuff during the prayer and his girlfriend leans to him and says " I didn't know you were such a religious person" and the boy says back " I didn't know your dad is a pharmacist".

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Q: Which is easier for a man to leave: the women or the Wine? A: It depends on the age.

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Hobson had been seeing a headshrinker for some months because he thought he was a poodle. One day a friend stopped him and asked, "How's the treatment going?" "Well," said Hobson, "I can't say I'm cured yet, but I've made some progress. My psychiatrist has stopped me from chasing cars."

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My friend is so stupid he thinks that an autograph is a chart showing sales figures for cars.

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What position makes the ugliest children? Ask your parents

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What looks like a dog, sounds like a dog, eats like a dog, but isn't a dog? A pup.

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What do you call a grasshopper with no legs? A grasshover!

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Ive been eating eggs thinking they came from an egg plant. Im going to be sick, now that I know where they really come from.

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When do dogs have 16 legs? When there are four of them.

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Excuse me, I'd like to have kids someday, and I wanted to know how your parents created such a beautiful creature.

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A woman went to the beach with her children. Her 4-year-old son ran up to her, grabbed her hand, and led her to the shore where a dead seagull lay in the sand. "Mommy, what happened to him?" the little boy asked. "He died and went to heaven," she replied. The child thought for a moment and said, "And God threw him back down?"

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My grandfather got new pants the other day. I asked him how they fit... He said "Like a cheap castle." Seeing'>Seeing the confused look on my face, he elaborated, saying, "No ball room."

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What's Dracula's favorite beer? Bloodweiser

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