Jokes about Clever

Two ladies fighting for a seat in a bus... Bus conductor: "The older one should sit here". Both looked at each other and the seat remained empty...

More Pictures



Watch funny jokes on Youtube

Funny Products at Kauf.com
Free fun games
Try it out: Fart Soundboard

Q: What's the difference between Aeroflot and the Scud Missile? A: Aeroflot has killed more people.

More Pictures

                       

On what should you mount a statue of your cat? A caterpillar!

More Pictures

                       

Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play? A: To get away from the noise.

More Pictures

                       

What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? A dirty kid!

More Pictures

                       

Why did the Aggie call 911 in the car wash? He thought he saw the rotating car washer as a tornado

More Pictures

                       

What do you call a bunch of killer whales playing musical instruments? An orca-stra.

More Pictures

                       

Why is it called a "litter" of puppies? Because they mess up the whole house!

More Pictures

                       

Where do frogs keep their treasure? In a croak of gold at the end of the rainbow!

More Pictures

                       

What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!

More Pictures

                       

Why are cats longer in the evening than they are in the morning? Because they're let out in the evening and taken in in the morning!

More Pictures

                       

What goes "snap, crackle and pop"? A firefly with a short circuit!

More Pictures

                       

Q: What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on? A: Anything you want. He can't hear you.

More Pictures

                       

Q: What do electric trains and breasts have in common? A: They're intended for children, but it's the men who usually end up playing with them.

More Pictures

                       

What is a mouse's favorite record? 'Please cheese me'!

More Pictures

                       

It's wonderful the power I've got over dumb animals, boasted Rizzoli to his wife. "You notice wherever we go, dogs - big ones, small ones - no matta how mean, they alia come up and licka my hand." "Maybe," said Mrs. Rizzoli, "if you'd eata with a knife and forka once in a while, they wouldn'ta be so friendly."

More Pictures

                       

How do you drown a blonde? Put a mirror on the bottom of the swimming pool.

More Pictures

                       

Excuse me, does this tequila taste funny? (Hand them an untouched shot)

More Pictures

                       

Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident? A: Be too drunk to find your keys.

More Pictures

                       

Q: What do you call a virgin on a waterbed? A: A cherry float.

More Pictures

                       

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

More Pictures

                       

How can you tell if a Chihuahua has been in the refrigerator? Paw prints in the butter!

More Pictures

                       

Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant? A: When he realises he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.

More Pictures

                       

When George Washington was a general, why did he like to have dogs around? They were very helpful during the "Roverlutionary War!"

More Pictures

                       

What's a toad's favorite ballet? Swamp Lake!

More Pictures

                       

A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat. "Are you crazy" yelled the customer, "sticking your thumb in my steak?!" "What" answers the waiter, "You want it to fall on the floor again?"

More Pictures

                       

Q: Why is a dog scared of a fire? A: It doesn't want to become a hot dog.

More Pictures

                       

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole." The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds to put the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house. Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars." The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your Grandma."

More Pictures

                       

What flower did Lassie like best? A collie flower.

More Pictures

                       

This old guy wobbles into an ice cream shop. He has a hard time walking. He is hunched over.He goes up to the counter and says, "Banana Split, please." The lady at the counter replies, "Crushed nuts?" The old man says, "No, Arthritis!"

More Pictures

                       

Why did the arsonist go to the gym? To burn some calories.

More Pictures