Jokes about Cowboy

A cowboy rides into town on Friday, stays three days and leaves on Friday. How does he do it? The horses name is Friday.

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Where is one place that your cat can sit, but you can't? Your lap.

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Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you!

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A teacher at a school for blind kids is taking his school's soccer team to an "away game". They stop for a rest break, and to let the kids work off some energy with a little impromptu practice in a nearby pasture. The teacher is sitting in a nearby diner, explaining to another patron how it is that blind kids can play soccer. "We made a special ball, with a bell in it, so the kids can keep track of where the ball is and what it's doing by listening for it. They're pretty good at it too." "Very clever!" remarks the other patron. Just then they are interrupted as another patron, who is looking out the window, says, "Hey! Are you the guy with those damn blind kids from the bus?" "Yes," says the teacher, stung by the way "his" kids are being refered to, "what about it? You got something against blind kids?" "Nothing, ordinarily," says the guy, still scowling out the window, "but you better get them rounded up quick! They're kicking the hell out of my best milk cow!"

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What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside? A mouse sandwich!

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It's my birthday! How about a birthday kiss? (Is it really your birthday?) No, but how about a kiss anyway?

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A ranger outfit was having training in mountain climbing. One of the men slipped and began falling into a precipice. "Are you hurt?" asked another. "I don't know yet," a weak voice was heard, "am still falling!"

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What has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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Q: What did the cannibal's wife give her husband when he came home late for dinner? A: The cold shoulder.

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"How did you get into counterfeiting?" Criminal: I answered an ad that said "Make money at home."

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Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play? A: To get away from the noise.

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A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmation dog. The children started discussing what the dog's duties might be. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster. "No," said another, "he's just for good luck." A third child concluded. "No silly, they use the dogs to find the fire hydrant!"

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What do you call a witch that goes to the beach? Sandwitch

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A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

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Cell phones make it easy to communicate with everybody except the people you're currently with.

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Three nuns were talking. The first nun said, "I was cleaning in Father's room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines." "What did you do?" the other nuns asked. "Well, of course I threw them in the trash." The second nun said, "Well, I can top that. I was in Father's room putting away the laundry and I found a bunch of condoms!" "Oh my!" gasped the other nuns. "What did you do?" they asked. "I poked holes in all of them!" she replied. The third nun fainted.

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How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster? Terrier-fied!

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Jerry and Sam were walking home from the bar one evening. Jerry points across the street and says "Look at that dog over there, licking his balls" Sam says "Yeah, I see it" Jerry tells him "I wish I could do that" Sam tells him "Well, give him a bone, and make a fuss of him, and he might let you."

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What does a cat do when it gets mad? It has a hissy fit.

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Q: What side of the dog has the most fur? A: The Outside.

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Q: What do a hurricane, a tornado, and a redneck divorce all have in common? A: Someone's going to lose their trailer...

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I can't come to the phone now because alien beings are eating my rain'>brain. Leave a message anyway, and after the alien beings assume my shape, one of them will get back to you.

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What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it the day after your divorce comes through.

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And then there was the Newfie who was found dead in his jail cell with twelve bumps on his head. He'd tried to hang himself with a rubber band.

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Why are old balloons cheaper than new balloons? Because of inflation

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An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?" The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

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What looks like a dog, sounds like a dog, eats like a dog, but isn't a dog? A pup.

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I feel like Richard Gere, I'm standing next to you, the Pretty Woman.

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What do you use to comb a cat? A catacomb.

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How does Dracula like to have his food served? In bite-sized pieces.

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You look like an angel. Welcome to Earth.

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