Jokes about Ghost

What kind of car does a ghost drive? A boogati!

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What do you call someone who strictly prefers white rice over brown rice? A goddamn riceist

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Hello, this is Jim. Unfortunately I can’t answer the phone right now because I’ve just come back from the Mirror Worlds and I’m still made up of antimatter, so if I were to pick up the phone right now, the resulting energy release would make Hiroshima look like a wet firecracker. So leave a message…

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A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant opened by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu...Broiled Missionary: $25.00Fried Explorer: $35.00Baked Politician: $100.00.The cannibal called the waiter over and asked , "Why such a price difference for the politician?"The cook replied "Have you ever tried to clean one of them?"

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Q: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A: A widow.

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What is worse than a dog howling at the moon? Two dogs howling at the moon.

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A friend took her dog to the parlor for a haircut, and asked what it would cost. Being told that it would cost her $50, she was outraged. "I only pay 30 bucks for my own haircut!" The groomer replied, "That may be true. But then you don't bite. do you?!"

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Did you hear about the Baton Rouge bride who cancelled the wedding when she heard her friends were planning to give her a shower?

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Little Willie'>Willie asked his mother: "Mamma, don't soldiers ever go to heaven?" "Of course they do!" protested his mother. "What makes you ask?" "There are so many soldiers with beards but I never saw any pictures of angels with beards." "Oh, that's because most men who go to Heaven get there by a close shave."

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A man in Orange County Municipal Court had been ticketed for driving alone in the carpool lane. He claimed that the four frozen cadavers in the mortuary van he was driving should be counted. The judged ruled that passengers must be alive to qualify.

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A blonde and brunette are walking along and the brunette turns to the blonde and said 'my husband had really bad dandruff, so I gave him head and shoulders.' then the blonde says 'how do you give shoulders?

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What time is it when 12 cats chase a mouse? 12 after 1!

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Q: How can you tell if a man is sexually exited? A: He's breathing.

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Q: What does a woman's asshole do when she is having an orgasm? A: He is usually home with the kids!

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Q: Why is a dog scared of a fire? A: It doesn't want to become a hot dog.

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So I'm reading that "twerking" and "selfie" have been added to the dictionary. "Future" and "optimism" have been removed...

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Why did the fly fly? Because the spider spied 'er!

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What is the only kind of dog you can eat? A hot dog!

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Who's killed more natives than General Custer? Jack Daniels

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What do your cell phone settings and anal bleach have in common? They both change your ring tone!

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Teacher: That's the stupidest boy in the whole school. Mother: That's my son. Teacher: Oh! I'm so sorry. Mother: You're sorry?

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Q: What do you call a Marine with an IQ of 160? A: Platoon

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Young'>Young Bradley arrived at his date's house wearing a shirt that had water dripping from it. "What're you doin'?" asked his girlfriend. "How come your shirt is soakin' wet?" "Well," said Bradley, "it said on the label: WASH AND WEAR."

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Where did the dog breeder keep his savings ? In bark-lays bank !

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Q: Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom? A: So she can have a doggie bag for later.

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What do cats like best on a hot day? Mice cream!

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Q: What did King Tut say to the museum? A: I want my mummy!

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Elephant Keeper: "My Elephant isn't well, do you know a good animal doctor?" Zoo Keeper: "No, all the doctors I know are people!"

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This deodorant says: "Avoid contact with eyes." Too late... I've already seen it.

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If I make you breakfast in bed. A simple "Thank you" is all I need! Not all this "How did you get in my house?" business'>business!

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What are 3 two letter words that say small? Is it in.

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