Jokes about Sex Q

What side of a Chihuahua has the most hair? The outside!

More Pictures

                       

How do you think the unthinkable? Run your ship into an iceberg...

More Pictures

                       

Gaining Weight? ...It's a piece of cake!

More Pictures

                       

During her annual checkup, the well-constructed miss was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining table. "Doctor," she replied shyly, "I just can't undress in front of you." "All right," said the physician, "I'll flick off the lights. You undress and tell me when you're through." In a few moments, her voice rang out in the darkness: "Doctor, I've undressed. What shall I do with my clothes?" "Put them on the chair, on top of mine."

More Pictures

                       

Q: How do you tell if an Arkansas girl is old enough to marry? A: Make her stand in a barrel. If her chin is over the top, she's old enough. If it isn't, cut the barrel down a bit.

More Pictures

                       

Outraged wife: Couldn't you think of anything better than coming home drunk like this? Husband: Yes, but she was out of town!

More Pictures

                       

What does a Chihuahua call its mom and dad? Chimama and Chipapa!

More Pictures

                       

Two Flies Are Sitting On a Piece of Shit. The first fly farts. The other gives him a disgusted look and says, "Come on man! I'm eating here!"

More Pictures

                       

A blonde woman strode angrily into the large drug-store-cum-general-store, slapped a package on the counter, and loudly expressed her dissatisfaction. The clerk asked, "What's the problem? Wouldn't your cat eat them?" The woman's eyes got very large, and she whispered, "Do you mean to tell me that Pussy Treats are meant for 'cats'?"

More Pictures

                       

Benson and his dog were sitting at a bar. He ordered two martinis. Benson handed one to the dog, who promptly drank it, then ate the glass until only the base and stem remained. Then he left. "That's the craziest thing I've ever seen," said the bartender. "Yeah, he's a dumb dog," said Benson. "The stem is the best part."

More Pictures

                       

The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, "If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?" The blonde quickly responded, "The living one."

More Pictures

                       

Jerry and Sam were walking home from the bar one evening. Jerry points across the street and says "Look at that dog over there, licking his balls" Sam says "Yeah, I see it" Jerry tells him "I wish I could do that" Sam tells him "Well, give him a bone, and make a fuss of him, and he might let you."

More Pictures

                       

What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You meet new people every day.

More Pictures

                       

Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground? A: Because you can't bury them in the sky!

More Pictures

                       

Q: How can you tell when a Chicago Fireman is dead? A: The remote control slips from his hand.

More Pictures

                       

What do you get if you cross a computer with a hamburger? A big mac.

More Pictures

                       

One day the sheriff sees Billy-Bob walking around town with nothing on except his gun belt and his boots. The sheriff says "Billy-Bob, what the hell are you doing walking around town dressed like that?" Billy-Bob replies "Well sheriff, it's a long story!" Sheriff says he isn't in a hurry and that Billy-Bob should tell the story. Billy-Bob continues "Well sheriff, me and Mary-Lou was down on the farm and we started a cuddling. Mary-Lou said we should go in the barn and we did." "Inside the barn we started a kissing and a cuddling and things got pretty hot and heavy, well Mary-Lou said that we should go up on the hill so we did." "Up on the hill we started a kissing and a cuddling and the Mary-Lou took off all her clothes and said that I should do the same. Well, I took off all my clothes except my gun belt and my boots. Then Mary-Lou lay on the ground and opened her legs and said "Okay Billy-Bob, go to town..."

More Pictures

                       

Teacher : In the exam you will be allowed 30 minutes for each question. Pupil: How long for the answer sir?

More Pictures

                       

What's the difference between Rihanna and Britney Spears? Britney asked to be hit one more time..

More Pictures

                       

Did you hear about the idiot who planted Cheerios'>Cheerios in his backyard? He thought they were donut seeds.

More Pictures

                       

What do you get when you cross a Chihuahua with an English sheepdog? Small wool sweaters!

More Pictures

                       

Stop putting famous names at the end of random quotes. Bob Marley

More Pictures

                       

What kind of dog can tell time? A clockshund!

More Pictures

                       

Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? A: Full.

More Pictures

                       

A blonde was filling out a job application form. She quickly filled out the columns entitled: Name, Age, Address, etc. Finally, she came to the column: Salary Expected. She wrote, "YES."

More Pictures

                       

Hello… Yes, I’d like to order two medium pepperoni pizzas please, with extra cheese… Oh, did I get the wrong number? Sorry about that. (Click.)

More Pictures

                       

Me: I'm gonna lose weight. Me: I'm gonna exercise every day. Me: I'm gonna go on a diet and stick to it. Me: Is that cake?

More Pictures

                       

Q: How do you know you're flying over Poland? A: Toilet paper hanging on the clotheslines.

More Pictures

                       

What do frogs drink? Hot croako!

More Pictures

                       

A friend took her dog to the parlor for a haircut, and asked what it would cost. Being told that it would cost her $50, she was outraged. "I only pay 30 bucks for my own haircut!" The groomer replied, "That may be true. But then you don't bite. do you?!"

More Pictures