Jokes about Tatoo

I think it's pretty cool Chinese people made a language made entirely out of tattoos.

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Q: What's the capital of Afghanistan? A: KABOOM!!

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One woman stops a taxi. To the airport, please. After ten minutes the taxi driver, watching the woman in the mirror, says: You are third pregnant woman that I have driven to the airport today. Are you kidding me, I am not pregnant. Well, you haven't arrived to the airport yet neither.

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A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license. The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer." The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror. She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now."

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Q: How can you tell if a man is sexually exited? A: He's breathing.

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What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad? Star Warts!

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Q: What is it that all men have one of; it's longer on some men than on others; the Pope doesn't use his; and a man gives it to his wife after they're married? A: surname

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What does a French poodle say before each meal? Bone appetit!

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Boy, do I love soccer It's the only sport where the fans are tougher then the players.

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Q: How do you get AIDS from a toilet seat? A: If you sit down before the other guy gets off.

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Q: Why did the golfer wear 2 pairs of pants?A: Just in case he got a hole-in-one!

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One Fall day, Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse, was a second hearse which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file. Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse. "My wife," the man replied. "I'm sorry," said Bill. "What happened to her?" "My dog bit her and she died." Bill then asked the man who was in the second hearse. The man replied, "My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as well." Bill thought about this for a while. He finally asked the man, "Can I borrow your dog?" To which the man replied, "Get in line."

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Q: How did a blind man meet his wife? A: On a blind date!

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Q: Why did the Navy switch to liquid soap? A: It's harder to pick up.

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What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer? Mice cubes!

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Why do mice have long tails? Well, they'd look silly with long hair!

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I went to a disco last night... They played The Twist - so I did the twist. They played Jump - so I jumped. They played Come on Eileen - I got kicked out.

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Q: Why did the golfer wear 2 pairs of pants?A: Just in case he got a hole-in-one!

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Which is the cats' all-time favorite song? "Three Blind Mice."

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Q: How do you stop a Polish army on horseback? A: Turn off the carousel.

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Why do lobsters make bad lovers? They're shellfish in bed.

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This blonde walked into a party store and asked the cashier if he had a hanger or something to unlock her car because she locked her keys in the car. He nodded and handed her a hanger. She thanked him and went outside to set to work. A little while later the cashier decided to check on her and saw her working at it and another blonde in the car was saying "a little to the left...no, a little to the right..."

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What did the slug say as he slipped down the wall? How slime flies!

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If old people are so wise... How come they always die before everyone else?

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Three kids are in an agruement about who's dad is better. "My dad's a fireman" said Billy. "My dad's a marine!" said Johnny. "My dad's invisible." said Brian.

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A man was complaining to a friend: "I had it all; money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman; then, Pow! it was all gone!" "What happened?" asked the friend. "My wife found out..."

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A woman strode angrily into the large drug-store-cum-general-store, slapped a package on the counter, and loudly expressed her dissatisfaction. The clerk asked, "What's the problem? Wouldn't your cat eat them?" The woman's eyes got very large, and she whispered, "Do you mean to tell me that Pussy Treats are meant for 'cats'?"

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Her: I do. And that marks the last time she ever agreed with me.

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What dogs never get lost? Newfound-lands!

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My standards are so high they just recorded a reggae song.

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What is taller when it sits down than when it stands up? A dog.

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