Jokes about Tatoo

I think it's pretty cool Chinese people made a language made entirely out of tattoos.

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Dear Algebra, please stop asking us to find your x. She is not coming back.

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"Welcome back to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces here today!"

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This medicine says I should not operate heavy machinery, so I guess I won't be doing laundry for the next two weeks. Safety first.

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What does a sour puss eat? Crab meat!

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What did the woodworm say to the chair? It's been nice gnawing you!

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A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.

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A blonde woman strode angrily into the large drug-store-cum-general-store, slapped a package on the counter, and loudly expressed her dissatisfaction. The clerk asked, "What's the problem? Wouldn't your cat eat them?" The woman's eyes got very large, and she whispered, "Do you mean to tell me that Pussy Treats are meant for 'cats'?"

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What is a cat's favorite movie? "The Sound of Mewsic."

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Maggie, a dog who had worked with police investigation team, applied for vacancy in the FBI. He went and met the HR. The HR said, "You'll have to meet some strict requirements. First, you must type at least 60 words per minute." Maggie sat on the typewriter and typed 80 words per minute. Then HR asked "you must pass a physical test and complete the obstacle course." Again, Maggie did well in the round. Then HR asked, there's one last requirement," "you must be bilingual." With confidence, the dog looks up at him and says, "Meow!"

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What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.

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Camper: "Look at that bunch of cows." Farmer: "Not bunch, herd." Camper: "Heard what?" Farmer: "Of cows." Camper: "Sure I've heard of cows." Farmer: "No, I mean a cowherd." Camper: "So what? I have no secrets from cows!"

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A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmation dog. The children started discussing what the dog's duties might be. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster. "No," said another, "he's just for good luck." A third child concluded. "No silly, they use the dogs to find the fire hydrant!"

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What dog is always tired in London? An English sleep dog.

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A great big sheep dog was sent to a kennel, where his owners hoped he might learn to stop jumping up on everybody who came into their home. At the kennel he got into a conversation with a tiny French poodle. "My name's Josette," said the little dog, "what's yours?""I'm not sure," said the sheep dog, "but I think it's Downboy."

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Why did the snowman call his dog Frost? Because frost bites!

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Some people prefer to put the thermometer in their mouth, while others prefer it in their rectum. It's a matter of taste!

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Why was the mother flea so unhappy? All her children had gone to the dogs.

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Who is king of all the mice? Mouse Tse Tung!

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Why can't the T-rex clap its hands? Because it's dead.

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Who rode a dog and was a confederate general during the American Civil War? Robert E Flea!

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Q: What kind of dog does a dracula like? A: A Bloodhound.

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How many seasons are there in a dogs life? Just one, the moulting season!

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Why shouldn't blondes be given a coffee break? It takes too long to retrain them.

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What do you do with a blue Burmese? Try and cheer it up a bit!

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What is the difference between a hippopotamus and a Chihuahua? About 2,200 pounds!

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Q: Where do fags park? A: In the rear.

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I went to the hairdresser and she asked how I'd like my hair cut. In silence.

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Most of us were taught to never get in cars with strangers, so taxi cabs make absolutely no sense.

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It's so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

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Q. Whats the difference between an elephants fart and a cocktail saloon? A. One is a Bar Room and the others a BARRROOOOOOOMMMM!

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