What is a favorite cation'>vacation spot for Chihuahuas? Boneos Aires, Argentina!

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How long do I have to lay on the couch in the same position before I can call it "yoga"?

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What goes "snap, crackle and pop"? A firefly with a short circuit!

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Why did the dog have a gleam in his eye? Someone bumped his elbow while he was brushing his teeth.

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What do you say to a Chihuahua that is running away? Adios!

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What do you get if you take a really big dog out for a walk? A Great Dane out!

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Q: What did King Tut say to the museum? A: I want my mummy!

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Q: Why did the blonde get so excited when she finished the jigsaw puzzle after only 6 months? A: Because on the box it said: From 2-4 years.

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Q: How do blonde rain'>brain cells die? A: Alone

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What do you call a big irish spider? Paddy long legs!

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Q: Why does the Navy put Marines on board ships? A:Because sheep would be too obvious.

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What's the difference between a bdsm slavegirl, and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking if you slap it.

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Whats the world weakest animal? A toad, he croaks if you even touch him!

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Q: What is the one thing you will never hear a man say? A: Her tits are just too big.

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What is the dogs favourite city? New Yorkie!

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I'm currently boycotting any company that sells items I can't afford.

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If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on? Their paws.

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What’s green and can jump a mile a minute? A frog with hiccups!

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Q: How can you identify an Irish pirate? A: He's the one with patches over both eyes.

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What is the difference between a flea bitten dog and a bored visitor? Ones going to itch and the other is itching to go!

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One August morning, farmer Hoskins started to town with horse and wagon. Half-way in, the horse stopped, turned his head, and said, "Sakes alive, but it's hot." The amazed farmer turned to his dog riding beside him and asked, "Did you hear what I heard?" "Yeah," said the dog, "but he's like every one else; always talking about the weather and never doing anything about it."

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When someone asks me if I'm busy, it always sounds like a trick question.

What should you do with a blue dog? Cheer him up.

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What do you want your husbands gravestone to say? Wife: "Nothing. I want a traditional, non-talking one."

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A blonde walked in on her husband having an affair. She was so angry she pulled out a gun and pointed to the woman's head. She was about to pull the trigger, when her husband said, "No, don't!" and she replied, "Shut up, you're next!"

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Lucifer speaking. Who in hell do you want?

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What is the last thing to go through a bugs mind when it hits your windshield? It's butt!

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We're sorry. You have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.

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Q: What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? A: When a golfer lies he doesn't have to bring anything home to prove it!

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Q: Why did the jellybean go to school? A: Because he wanted to be a smarty

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