I just spotted a Chihuahua! That wasn't very nice, you shouldn't draw on dogs!

What is a chameleon's motto? A change is as good as a rest!

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Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on? A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.

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Contrary to what people say you can indeed drink to relax. Of course sometimes you get so calm you can't move.

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What is life like for a wood worm? Boring!

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What do you get if you cross a cat with Father Christmas? Santa Claws!

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Who helped Cinderella's cat go to the ball? Her furry godmother!

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Q: Why doesn't Mexico have an olympic team? A: Cause all of their runners, swimmers, and jumpers are in the United States.

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A little brown dog was running across a freight yard, crossing all the railroad tracks, until a switch engine nipped off the end of his tail. The canine yelped, spun around, and when he tried to bite the train, he got his head chopped off. Moral: Never lose your head over a piece of tail.

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Sherwood Forest. Which dear do you want?

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How many idiots who ask stupid questions does it take to screw in a light bulb? Change it to what?

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Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a night. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm till he dies.

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Little Alan pointed to two dogs in the park and asked his father what they were doing. "They're making puppies, son," he explained. That night, the boy wandered into his parent's room while they were making love. Asked what they were doing, the father replied, "We're making you a baby brother." "Gee, Pop," pleaded the boy. "I'd rather have a puppy."

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What should you do if you see a vicious dog? Hope he doesn't see you.

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A beagle was complaining to a basset that he felt poorly. "Nothing physical," he said. "Just bored, always tired, never really in top form." "Well," said the basset, "why don't you see a psychiatrist?" "How can I see a psychiatrist?" said the beagle. "You know I'm not allowed on couches."

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Q: Do you know what an Australian kiss is? A: It's like a French kiss, but down under.

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Alsation: What kind of computer do you want to buy? Chihuahua: One with a small byte!

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Why do business'>businessmen carry umbrellas? Because umbrellas can't walk.

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Why wasn't the vampire working? He was on his coffin break.

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What word did the dog always pronounce incorrectly? Incorrectly.

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What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant? Very big worm holes in your garden!

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The lifeguard told the mother to make her young son stop urinating in the pool. "Everyone knows," the mother lectured him, "that from time to time, young children will urinate in a pool!" "Oh really?" said the lifeguard, "from the diving board?!"

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Mr. Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully, the divorce court judge said, "and I've decided to give your wife $275 a week." "That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."

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What's invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey farts

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Q: What are the blonde's first words after 4 years of college? A: "Would you like fries with that?"

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Where do frogs keep their treasure? In a croak of gold at the end of the rainbow!

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Why did the Chihuahua take the bus to the TV studio to make a commercial? It was too far to walk!

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I asked a city dweller "Do you know where the post office is?" He said, "Yes," and kept right on walking.

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Q: What did the Egyptian man say to the Egyptian woman? A: "Come behind the pyramid, and I'll make you a mummy!"

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If money doesn't buy happiness.. then explain why you have to pay for a divorce.

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What's a dog favourite hobby? Collecting fleas!

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