Jokes about Anonymous

"Welcome back to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces here today!"

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My favorite quote: "Deep down, every human being just wants to be remembered." anonymous

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Watch funny jokes on Youtube

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What is the difference between fleas and dogs? Dogs can have fleas but fleas can't have dogs!

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Where do werewolves stay when they're on cation'>vacation? At the Howliday Inn!

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What kind of doctors are like spiders? Spin doctors!

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My favorite Yoga pose is the upward facing couch potato.

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Two Flies Are Sitting On a Piece of Shit. The first fly farts. The other gives him a disgusted look and says, "Come on man! I'm eating here!"

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What do frogs drink? Hot croako!

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What's fatter than your mom? Your mom after her next meal.

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What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? 1 less drunk

Don't you do it! Don't you dare! I don't want to hear it! Don't you beep! If you beep, I'll... don't even think about it!... Don't...!

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Q: What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common? A: Everyone is happy when the case is closed.

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These words are lovely dark and deep. But I’ve got promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep. So leave a message at the beep.

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What happened to the glow worm who was squashed? He was de-lighted!

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When are Pomeranians good at taking photographs? Only when they snap at something!

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Ive been eating eggs thinking they came from an egg plant. Im going to be sick, now that I know where they really come from.

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What do you call a dog in jeans and a sweater? A plain clothes police dog!

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Did you hear about the Brooklyn bubblerain'>brain who was two hours late for work because the escalator got stuck?

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Why was the Berlin Wall torn down? It didn't match with the Iron Curtains.

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Detective: I am on the trail of a cat burglar Sergeant: How do you know it's a cat burglar? Detective: All it stole was a saucer and a pint of milk

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Why do dogs turn around three times before lying down? One good turn deserves another.

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What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer? Light ale!

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In a tiny village lived an old maid. In spite of her old age, she was still a virgin. She was very proud of it. She knew her last days were getting closer, so she told the local undertaker that she wanted the following inscription on her tombstone: "Born as a virgin, lived as a virgin, died as a virgin." Not long after, the old maid died peacefully, and the undertaker told his men what the lady had said. The men went to carve it in, but as the lazy no-goods they were, they thought the inscription to be unnecessarily long. They simply wrote: "Returned unopened."

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Steve has been captured by a flying saucer and can’t come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name, phone number, and a message, I’ll have him call you back as soon as he gets away. Read all about it in next week’s National Enquirer.

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I've got some good news and some bad news the doctor says. "What's the bad news?" asks the patient. "The bad news is that unfortunately you've only got 3 months to live". The patient is taken back, "What's the good news then Doctor?". The doctor points over to the secretary at the front desk, "You see that blonde with the big breasts, tight ass and legs that go all the way up to heaven?", the patient shakes his head and the doctor replies, "I'm f**king her."

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Animal testing is pointless. We already know they're animals.

Do you have a twin sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the world!

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Fulton was walking down the main street of a small town, with a dog on a leash. The animal was a miserable-looking, mangy flea ridden, purple-eyed pup. "Where are you going with that mutt?" asked a friend. "Oh, I'm taking him to the New York Dog Show." "That flea-bitten, raggedy-looking character? You'll never win a prize with him!" "Yes, I know," he replied, "but it'll give him a chance to meet a lot of real nice dogs."

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What did the dog tell his owner when he saw the dogcatcher coming? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

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What do you call it when a bunch of druggies talk to each other? Joint-Discussion.

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Carmella and Mario were out on their first date. "Have you ever read Shakespeare?" asked Carmella. "No," said Mario. "Who wrote it?"

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What kind of dog chases anything red? A bull dog!

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