Jokes about Chain

What do you call kittens who keep getting passed from owner to owner? Chain litter.

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Q: Why do Greek men wear gold neck chains? A: So they know where to stop shaving.

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(Italian Mafia-style voice:) I can't come to the phone right now. Me and Guido are trying to stuff a body in the trunk. I think we're going to have to size it a little... (Aside:) Hey Guido! Get the chainsaw! Anyways, leave your name and a message. If I like it, you'll hear from me. If not, you'll hear from Guido! (Laughter.)

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Q: Why do Greek men wear gold neck chains? A: So they know where to stop shaving.

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What is the difference between a banjo and a chain saw? A chain saw has a dynamic range.

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Two Kentucky men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off the truck. They panicked and fled, leaving the chain still attached to the machine, their bumper still attached to the chain, and their license plate still attached to the bumper.

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What kind of car does a ghost drive? A boogati!

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My dog is a nuisance. He chases everyone on a bicycle. What can I do? Take his bike away.

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Did you hear about the Chinese Chef who broke out of jail? Apparently he went out for a wok and never came back.

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Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her name tag)? A: "'Debbie'. . . that's cute. What did you name the other one?"

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What is a dogs favourite flower? Anything in your garden!

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Most of us were taught to never get in cars with strangers, so taxi cabs make absolutely no sense.

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Q: What word begins with the letter "F" and ends in "uck"? A: Firetruck

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What's green and slimy and found at the North Pole? A lost frog!

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What does a caterpillar do on New Years Day? Turns over a new leaf!

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Why did the blonde stare at her orange juice for so long? Because it said, Concentrate.

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What has a mouth but no teeth? A river.

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Good day, Jim. Your contact, Linda, is not available right now. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to leave your name, number, and a brief message at the tone. This tape will self-destruct in thirty seconds. Good Luck, Jim.

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A drunk stumbles into a confessional. The priest hears him come in, but then he doesn't hear anything, so the priest knocks on the wall. The drunk says, "Forget it, buddy, there's no paper in this one, either!"

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter, he won't come!

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What do cats like to eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies.

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What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird ? A feather boa!

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When someone tells you to expect the unexpected, slap them and ask if they expected it!

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My favorite Yoga pose is the upward facing couch potato.

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What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla? An animal that puts you out a night!

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A fellow dies, goes to hell, and is surprised when confronted by a room full of beautiful blondes and kegs of beer.He asks a nearby demon if this is really hell, and what was so bad about the place. "Well," said the demon, "the kegs all have holes in the bottoms, and the blondes don't!"

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Sally goes to work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned his employee, walks over to her and asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?" The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call that my mother had passed away." The boss, feeling very sorry at this point suggests to the young girl, "Why don't you go home for the day...we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off and go relax." Sally very calmly states, "No I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind busy and I have the best chance of doing that here." The boss agrees and allows her to work as usual. "If you need anything just let me know" says the boss. A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on Sally. He looks out his office and sees her crying hysterically. He rushes over an asks, "What's the matter now? Are you going to be ok?" Sally breaks down in tears. "I just received a horrible call from my sister. She said that her mom died too!!"

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What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!

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What did the dog use to make his kite? Flypaper.

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Meeting in Central Park, a huge boxer stopped and wagged his tail in friendly greeting to a Russian wolfhound. "How do you like America?" he asked. "Well, it's different from my homeland," said the wolfhound. "In Russia I eat bones dipped in vodka and caviar. In Russia I have my own doghouse made of rare Siberian wood. In Russia I sleep on a rug made of thick warm ermine." "Then why did you come to America?" "I like to bark once in a while."

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What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad? It became a daddy short legs!

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What does a bee say before it stings you? This is going to hurt me a lot more than it hurts you!

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Q: What do you get when a cow gets stuck in an earthquake? A: A milk shake!

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What do Greek soccer players wear? Soccer tee's

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Q: A fireman had two sons. What did he name them? A: Hosea and Hoseb

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What flower did Lassie like best? A collie flower.

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