Jokes about Dirty

What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? A dirty kid!

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How do you know your kitchen floor is dirty? The slugs leave a trail on the floor that reads "clean me"!

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? John got dirty. Wanna hear a clean joke? John took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a naughty joke? Bubbles was the girl next door.

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Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the teacher calls his name. "Yeah teach?" he replies. "If there are three ducks on a fence and you shoot one of them with a shotgun, how many are left?" asks the teacher. Matt answers "Well, teach, if I shoot one of them with a shotgun, the loud noise is gonna make them all fly off." "No, Matt, there will be two left if you shoot one with a shotgun, but I like the way you're thinking." the teacher responds. "Well, teach, I've got a question for you... There are 3 women that come out of an ice-cream parlor, one is biting her ice-cream cone, one is licking it, and one is sucking on it. Which one is married?" The teacher, a little taken back by the question answers, "Well, uh, gee Matt, I guess the one that's sucking on the ice cream." Matt replies "No teach, the one that has the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking!"

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Alsation: How did you find the fleas? Beagle: I didn't! They found me!

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What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? A waist of time.

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When someone tells you to expect the unexpected, slap them and ask if they expected it!

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This blonde walked into a party store and asked the cashier if he had a hanger or something to unlock her car because she locked her keys in the car. He nodded and handed her a hanger. She thanked him and went outside to set to work. A little while later the cashier decided to check on her and saw her working at it and another blonde in the car was saying "a little to the left...no, a little to the right..."

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The famous rock and roll star was constantly stopped on the street by fans. Swooning girls would kiss his hand and tear pieces of clothing from his body. They even begged for locks of his hair, which he agreed to send in the mail. And did. One day a friend said, "You keep this up and you're gonna go bald in no time." "Not me." he answered with a wink. "My dog!"

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What does a Chihuahua wear to play basketball? Small basketball shoes!

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What do angry rodents send each other at Christmas time? Cross mouse cards!

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Benson and his dog were sitting at a bar. He ordered two martinis. Benson handed one to the dog, who promptly drank it, then ate the glass until only the base and stem remained. Then he left. "That's the craziest thing I've ever seen," said the bartender. "Yeah, he's a dumb dog," said Benson. "The stem is the best part."

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Q: What do you call a person who plays the viola? A: A violator.

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Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it's just a sparkle.

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What do you call a mother cow that lost her calf? "Decafinated"

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How do I get to the other side? Blonde: You are on the other side.

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My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist. I told him to stop being so clothes minded.

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Q: Why does a dog wag it's tail? A: No one else will do it for them

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: He was feeling crummy!

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You must be in a wrong place - the Miss Universe contest is over there.

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Q: What's the difference between a road-killed deer and a road-killed lawyer? A: There's skid marks in front of the deer!

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I gave her my heart but what she really needed was kidney transplant...

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A young blonde woman went into a bank to withdraw some money. For security purposes the cashier asked her if she could identify herself. She opened her handbag and took out a small mirror, looked into it and said, "Yes, it's me all right."

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What cat purrs more than any other? Purrsians!

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A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store. He does a double take. He knows that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars. The storeowner replies, "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale." The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you 20 dollars for that cat." And the owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat. The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish." The owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week I've sold sixty-eight cats."

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Rabinowitz walked into Gold's Theatrical Agency with a puppy under his arm. "I got here an attraction that'll make you a million dollars. I got a little puppy dog that plays an electric piano and sings My Yid-dishe Mama." "I don't believe it," said Gold. Rabinowitz opened up a suitcase, pulled out a tiny piano, put the puppy at it and the dog began playing and singing. The theatrical agent leaped up and shouted, "My God! We'll clean up a fortune!" Just then the door opened and in walked a big dog, grabbed the puppy by the neck, and ran out with him. "What the hell was that?" asked the agent. "That's the puppy's mother," answered Rabinowitz. "She wants him to be a doctor!

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What does a smart blonde and a dinosaur have in common? They are both extinct.

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Q: Why can't Chinese Barbecue? A: Because the rice falls through the grill

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Is it hot in here or is it just you?

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Q: Why do penguins live in the Arctic? A: Because they can't fly to Florida like the rest of the old birds.

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Girl: I've lost my dog. Boy: Why don't you put an ad in the paper? Girl: Don't be silly, my dog can't read!

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If you can't do what's right you can always do what's left.

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Q: What goes 99 click? A: A centipede with a wooden leg.

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Q: Do you know what an Australian kiss is? A: It's like a French kiss, but down under.

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