Jokes about November

One day a big group of blondes met in New York to show the world that blondes aren't dumb. They begged: "Ask any of us any question, and we will show you that we're not dumb." The group caught the attention of a passer by, who volunteered to ask them some questions. He climbed up on a car and randomly picked a blonde out of the crowd. She got up on the car too and the man asked: "What is the first month of the year?" The blonde responded: "November?" "Nope," said the man. At this point the crowd began to chant, "Give her another chance, give her another chance." So the man asked: "What is the capital of the U.S.A ?" The blonde responded: "Paris?" So the crowd began chanting again: "Give her another chance, give her another chance." The man said: "Okay, but this is the last one. What is one plus one?" The blonde replied: "Two?" “Give her another chance, Give her another chance." screamed the crowd.

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Q: How many absurdist/surrealist comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: November.

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Q: How many absurdist/surrealist comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: November.

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Max wondered why the ball was slowly growing larger... and then it hit him.

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What kind of bees eat rain'>brains? Zombees

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Q: What are the blonde's first words after 4 years of college? A: "Would you like fries with that?"

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What's a toad's favorite ballet? Swamp Lake!

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Why do you need a licence for a dog and not for a cat? Cats can't drive!

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Why wasn't the dog hurt when he fell off a 100-foot ladder? He fell from the bottom rung.

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A little blonde girl comes back from school one evening. She runs to her mum and says: "Mummy today at school we learnt how to count. Well, all the other girls only counted to 5, but listen to me: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10! It's good, innit?" "Yes, darling, very good." Answers the mom. "Is that because I'm blonde?" she asks. "Yes, darling, it's because you're blonde." The mom says. Next day, the little girl comes back from school and says: "Mummy, today at school we learnt the alphabet. All the other girls only went as far as D, but listen to me: A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K! It's good, innit?" "Yes, darling, very good." Answers the mom. "Is that because I'm blonde, mummy?" she asks. "Yes, darling it's because you're blonde." The mom says. Next Day, she returns from school and cries: "Mummy, today we went swimming. Well, all the other girls have no breasts, but look at me!" She proceeds to flash her impressive 36D at her mummy. "Is that because I'm blonde, mummy?" "No darling, it's because you're 25."

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Hello… Yes, I’d like to order two medium pepperoni pizzas please, with extra cheese… Oh, did I get the wrong number? Sorry about that. (Click.)

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Morris complained to his friend Irving, that love making with his wife was becoming routine and boring. "Get creative Morris. Break up the monotony. Why don't you try 'playing doctor' for an hour? That's what I do," said Irving. "Sounds great," Morris replied, "but how do you make it last for an hour?" "That's easy...just keep her in the waiting room for 59 minutes!"

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Q: Why don't Deputy Fire Marshals look out the window in the morning? A: So they have something to do in the afternoon.

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At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."

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Q: What do you get when a cow gets stuck in an earthquake? A: A milk shake!

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What do toads drink? Croaka-cola!

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Q: What creature has the best aptitude for engineering? A: The spider - it has its own website.

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A flying saucer landed at a gas station on a lonely country road. The two space aliens inside seemed completely unconcerned about detection; in fact, the letters "UFO" were emblazoned in big, bold letters on one side of their shiny craft. As the station owner stood and gawked in silence, paralyzed with shock, his young, blonde attendant nonchalantly filled up the tank and then waved to the two aliens as they took off. "Do you realize what just happened?" the station owner finally uttered. "Yeah," said the blonde attendant. "So?" "Didn't you see the space aliens in that vehicle?!" "Yeah," repeated the blonde. "So?" "Didn't you see the letters 'UFO' on the side of that vehicle?!" "Yeah," repeated the blonde attendant. "So?" "Don't you know what 'UFO' means?!" The blonde attendant rolled her eyes. "Good grief, boss! I've been working here for five years. Of course I know what 'UFO' means - it means 'Unleaded Fuel Only'.

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Why can't the T-rex clap its hands? Because it's dead.

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Q: Who is the most popular man in a nudist colony? A. The one who can carry 2 cups of coffee and nine doughnuts at the same time. Q: Who is the most popular woman in a nudist colony? A. The one who can eat the last doughnut.

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One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden. "You're a goblin," she says, "I caught you and you owe me three wishes!". So the goblin replies "OK, you caught me fair and square, what's your first wish?". The woman stops and thinks for a second, "I want a huge mansion to live in.", goblins replies "OK, you've got it.". Woman again thinks it over, "My second wish is a Mercedes." "OK, you've got that too." "My last wish is a million dollars!". The goblin then says "OK, you've got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have sex all night with me." "OK then, if that's what it takes..." Next morning the little man wakes the woman up. "Tell me," says the man, "how old are you?" "I'm 27", she replies "F**k me", says the man, "27 and you still believe in goblins"

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Q: What happens when a Polak doesn't pay his garbage bill? A: They stop delivering.

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Did you hear about the stupid Kamikaze pilot? He flew 57 missions!

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How did I escape Iraq? Iran

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A young woman said to her doctor, "You have to help me, I hurt all over." "What do you mean?" said the doctor. The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe. "Ow, even THAT hurts." The doctor asked the woman, "Are you a natural blonde?" "Why yes," she said. "I thought so," said the doctor... "You have a sprained finger."

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Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License? A: Because she got an F in sex.

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Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? He set a new lap record.

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What animal runs around happily with 5 legs? A pit bull in a kindergarten

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A man is driving his car along a lonely country road when suddenly grinds to a halt. The driver tries to restart it but to no avail. So he gets out and opens the bonnet and starts fiddling with the plugs. Suddenly he hears a voice. "The left hand carburettor is blocked, why don't you drain it and the muck should come out too". He turns round and can see no one, so he shrugs and goes back to what he was doing. "Drain the muck out of the left hand carburettor", says the voice again, and when he turns round all he can see is a black horse with its head over the hedge looking at him. Again the voice tells him what to do and he suddenly realises that the horse is giving him instructions. Too shocked to argue, he does as he is told, starts the car and sure enough it works. He drives down to the nearest pub and, rushing in like a madman, has a stiff drink. Then he says to the barman, "My car broke down up there and a horse told me how to repair it". The barman looks at him and says, "Was it a black one?" "Yes." "I thought so, the white one knows nothing about cars."

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After an accident, a woman stepped forward and prepared to help the victim. She was asked to step aside by a man who announced, "Step back please! I've had a course in first aid and I'm trained in CPR. "The woman watched his procedures for a few moments, then tapped him on the shoulder. "When you get to the part about calling a doctor," she said, "I'm already here!"

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A tramp was scrounging for food near a farm when a watchful bulldog clamped his jaws on the bum's buns. He screamed and yelled and soon the farmer arrived. "Call off your dog," pleaded the tramp. "I can't," answered the farmer. "His name is Sick'm."

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As Paula, age five, skipped by, the dog woke up, barked happily, and followed her home. Paula did not know that her newfound friend was a female. She loved the dog so much that her parents could not find it in their hearts to call the A.S.P.C.A. Some weeks later when Paula came home from school, she found that her pet was being followed by every male dog in the neighbourhood. "How do you like that, Daddy!" she exclaimed. "Our dog is a natural-born leader."

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Little Michael had been afraid of dogs all his life. He would go far out of his way to avoid even a sleeping puppy. One day out walking with his mother, he refused to walk past a big dog standing on the corner. "But you shouldn't be afraid," his mother scolded. "Well," he replied, "you'd be afraid, too, if you were as low down as I am."

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