Jokes about fight


    • Guns For Hire, an Arizona company specializing in staged gunfights for Western movies, got a call from a 47-year-old woman who wanted to have her husband shot. She was sentenced to four years in jail.

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    • Who gave the dog a black eye? Nobody gave it to him. He had to fight for it.

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    • Why do tomcats fight? Because they like raising a stink!

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    • A man in a bar with his Labrador at his feet was intrigued to see another dog owner enter the bar. "That's a strange looking dog you have there," he said. "Yes, he is rather," said the newcomer, "but he's a great fighter." "Is he now? I bet he isn't as good a fighter as my Fang here." "All right - how much do you wanna bet?" "Ten dollars." "You're on." So the two men let their dogs fight. Eventually the Labrador crawled, battered and bloody, to his master's side. "I'd never thought I'd see Fang get defeated," said the loser's master, handing over the ten dollars, "especially by such an odd-looking one like yours." "Yes, he does look a little peculiar," agreed the winner's master, "but he looked even odder before I shaved his mane off."

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    • Hello, this is the Brown residence. We're in the middle of a family fight right now. Leave your name and number at the beep and whoever wins will call you right back.

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    • How do cats end a fight? They hiss and make up.

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    • A farmer hires a college student one summer to help around the farm. At the end of the summer the farmer says, "Son, since you have done such a fine job here this summer, I am going to throw a party for you." The college guy says, "Right on, thanks a lot man." So the farmer says, "Well you better be able to handle a few beers because there will be lotsa drinkn' going on." College guy "Hey, I can drink just as much as anyone else so I should do just fine." Farmer "There is also going to be a lot of fightn' so I hope you are ready." College guy "I have been working hard all summer and I think I am in pretty good shape." Farmer says, "Well, did I mention that there will be lotsa sex?" College guy "Good. I have been out here all summer and I have been dying for some action. What should I wear to this party?" Farmer says, "I don't care it's just going to be me and you."

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    • I'm not going to intervene next time my kids start fighting, I'm just going to close the door and whoever comes out alive will be my kid.

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    • Two ladies fighting for a seat in a bus... Bus conductor: "The older one should sit here". Both looked at each other and the seat remained empty...

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    • I'm not one to give parenting advice, but kids are a lot less likely to fight you on eating dinner if you don't give them lunch or breakfast.

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    • Dad, Mum is fighting with an enormous elephant in the garden! "Don't worry dear, I'm sure the elephant can look after itself!"

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    • What is small, furry and brilliant at sword fights? A mouseketeer!

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    • What happens when two cats want the same dish of food? They get into a phsssssst fight!

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    • What do you do when two snails have a fight? Leave them to slug it out!

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    • Look at that speed! said one hawk to another as the jet fighter plane hurtled over their heads."Hmph!" snorted the other. "You would fly fast too if your tail was on fire!"

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