Jokes about sport
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A drunk was passing a bus intersection when a large St. Bernard brushed against him and knocked him down. An instant later a foreign sports car skidded around the corner and inflicted more damage. A bystander helped the poor fellow up and said, "Are you hurt?" "Well," he answered, "the dog didn't hurt so much, but that tin can tied to his tail nearly killed me."
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What's the best sport to learn when you are moving? Boxing
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Be nice to people on your way up so they won't get suspicious when you're rich and you invite them to your island to hunt them for sport.
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Try it out: Cat Run -
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A famous soccer player parked his brand new porsche outside a gift store and went inside to shop. About ten minutes later a blonde salesgirl ran up to him shouting, "I just saw someone steal your sports car." "Did you try to stop him?" asked the soccer player. "No," said the blonde. "I did better than that, I got the registration number of the car!"
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A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she's laughing. He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down. He demands, "What's so funny?" She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"
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Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!" "Dear God! Did you try to stop him?" "No," she said, "I did better than that! I got the license plate number!"
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Try it out: Cat Run -
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What is a mosquito's favorite sport? Skin-diving!
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Try it out: Talking Donald Donkey -
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What kind of bugs bother sporting dogs? Ath-fleats!
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Roger is a hard worker, and he spends most of his nights bowling or playing volleyball. One weekend, his wife decides that he needs to relax a little and take a break from sports, so she takes him to a strip club. The doorman at the club spots them and says "Hey Roger! How are you tonight?" His wife, surprised, asks her husband if he has been here before. "No, no. He's just one of the guys I bowl with." They are seated, and the waitress approaches, sees Roger and says "Nice to see you, Roger. A gin and tonic as usual?" His wife's eyes widen. "You must come here a lot!" "No, no" says Roger "I just know her from volleyball." Then a stripper walks up to the table. She throws her arms around Roger and says "Roger! A table dance as usual?" His wife, fuming, collects her things and storms out of the bar. Roger follows her and spots her getting into a cab, so he jumps into the passenger seat. His wife looks at him, seething with fury and lets Roger have it with both barrels. At this, the cabby leans over and says "Sure looks like you picked up a bitch tonight, Roger!"
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What is a dog's favourite sport? Formula 1 drooling!
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Boy, do I love soccer It's the only sport where the fans are tougher then the players.
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A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle. "It’s for my husband," she tells the clerk. "Did he tell you what gauge to get?" asked the clerk. "Are you kidding?" she says. "He doesn’t even know that I’m going to shoot him!"
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What is a Chihuahua's favorite sport? Miniature golf!
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Try it out: Mini Golf Fun -
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